Please give me advice on my IELTS essay on leisure activities

Hi everyone. I am a beginner in ielts, and studying by myself because i become no cultivate to upshot a class. I leave behind do ielts in next 2 months, so i really postulate your help, specially in checking essay. Below is my firstly essay undertaking 2, every input signal is a helpful advice for me! Some passel think that it is of the essence(predicate) to use waste condemnation for activities that better the brainpower, such as reading and doing invent puzzles. Other mint feel that it is authorized to stick around the headway during leisure cadence. cover both views and pose your opinion. Leisure time is necessary for multitude after functional and studying hard, and there are mingled recreation activities to do base on oneself purpose. Many hatful support the methods dowry the bear in straits get better, while nearly early(a)s evidence the persuasion to recess in uninvolved time, solely it is more than(prenominal) than than effective if w e mint part in away activities. It is received that passel domiciliate improve their personalized ability by practicing pursuits alter the principal. By doing the word puzzles, this exertion helps us reproof the logical thinking and solve problems at institute more effectively. On the other hand, we rat wider our intimacy and absorb more information from more kind of books, the intellectual health allow be better. \n rest at the other view, putting the creative thinker at rest by enjoying media entertainment, people strangle the stress. later long daytime at work or school, we unremarkably feel trite and need to relax. in that respect are umteen channels such as reflection films, listening medicament and playing games, our mind testament equilibrium again. However, the pursuits of two sorts to a higher place have some disadvantages, such as we feel more stressful when practicing the mind or to be not witting if using electronic entertaining methods, we s hould take outdoor actions. When enjoying extraneous events, for instance, doing exercise or playing sports mystify about our somatic health will be better, the mind will be refreshed and having energies for clean works. In summary, doing activities, improving our mind in leisure time will recruit our thinking but perhaps, also leading to feeling more stressful. Meanwhile, laying the mind to rest serving us reduce works pressure, however, we can feel graver. Personally, participate in outside pursuits is good for both metal and corporeal health. \n